Been Wondering.

I, like many others, are overloaded with the events of the past few days.  On one hand, I am absolutely floored and disgusted and angry that somone to whom many people looked up could do something so reprehensible to a kid - to many kids.  Not to mention that trauma to the kids that were abused but all the kids in the future who will never, ever get to experience an adult who truly cares, who wants to help.  What this devil has done is to prevent any parent from ever trusting anyone who professes to 'just want to help' kids.  If we trusted this pillar of our University who had such an earnest face and such sincere words and such altruistic intentions, and who rooked us all, how can we possibly ever put our kids in the care of anyone?

And my beloved JoePa.  That breaks my heart.  I've known of JoePa all of my life. I certainly did not know him personally but I knew of him from the way my parents talked about him, my interactions with his family on committees on which I've served, from the way that the media (on good days, in winning seasons) have portrayed him.  Poor judgment and the assumption that superiors within the University would appropriately take care of matters are what has brought around JoePa's end as coach.  I think that is incredibly sad.

My parents taught me right from wrong - there is no doubt about that.  As a kid the worst possible consequence of careless acts on my part would be to disappoint my parents.  But yet, how many times have I made a decision to do something that could potentially harm someone else?  Not waiting for a bigger break in traffic before making a turn, not returning a phone call, not volunteering for something, not keeping my word.

It is really sad to think that so much of this horrific mess could easily have been avoided and lives spared if someone along the way had done the right thing.  A chain is only as strong as its weakest link and I think that there have been many weak links. There are always weak links.

As a Penn State alumni and a Penn State employee, I will always be proud of my University.  Because Penn State is the students, the faculty who teach them, the staff who work hard to provide the best, most excellent service to our students, the ones who don't earn 6 or 7 figure salaries who oftentimes, can barely make ends meet but yet show up to work each day because we believe in the value of education.

Still Standing.

This has always been my dad's tree.  I remember being told this when I was very, very young.  This lone pine near the edge of Route 27 looks exactly as it did nearly 50 years ago.

I have taken many pictures of it over the years.  It is a comfort to me knowing that it still stands straight and tall despite the storms it has endured.

THEY ARE COMING HOME!

Our soldiers - our U.S. soldiers - are coming home from Iraq!!!  And this makes lower case, non-bolded headlines?????  Are you kidding me???  Is this America???

Everyday I see newspaper headlines of pure crud.  This week there have been at least two online headlines of a local person getting arrested for their second and third DUIs.  They get more coverage than our soldiers (remember them? Our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, mothers, and fathers????) coming home from Iraq?

I wrote yesterday about nightmares of waking up in Wally-world.  This is far worse.  I've shared facebook posts about my favorite music artists, about fracking in Sharonville, about this and about that.  But does no one think it is Facebook worthy that our troops are COMING HOME FROM IRAQ?

Someone please inform me if I have missed something.  If this is not a reason to be celebrating.  For the past seven years I've lived in fear that my daughter - my baby girl- would be sent back to Iraq. 

What am I missing?  Our soldiers are returning home to America, the land that I love, God bless it all! 

How about a smile?  A pat on the back? A thank-God-they-are-coming-home? 

Really? Is this MY America??????

Wall-mart.

I've written about it before. 

And I've returned a few times since.

But no more.

Walmart's latest campaign - Save Money. Live Better.

Yeah.

What is sad is that this company targets people like me.  And it works. 

But in the same voice, the company is targeting people like me while it destroys people like me.  The company - Walmart - is an enabler - dangling their slogan of living better.  That we need more 'stuff' to live better.  To be better.  To feel better.

In the meantime, Walmart seemingly is destroying the free market.  For human needs anyway.  Their guarantee is that no matter the cost they WILL undercut any competitor's price.  On anything. 

I have nightmares of waking up in a world in which everything is own/operated by Walmart.  I am terrified of needing hospital care but having to give-in to substandard care because WalHospital guarantees the lowest price.

I don't have a degree in Economics or Political Science or Business - but I do have degrees relating to humans as well as nearly 50 years experience of being a human.  I want to have valid choices.  I want to be able to make my own decision of cost vs quality and not being forced to subscribe to that.  I don't want more.  I want good.

I do believe in free enterprise and that people should have the choice between getting cheap goods for a little bit of money or investing in their country.  But it terrifies me that the choice is being made for me.  Everytime I buy something from a company that attempts to crush any mom and pop business, I am basically pounding another nail in a small business' coffin. 

Walmart has seen the last of me.   

Dang! I will do without before I give another cent to that company!

Another Day.

Sun.

The sun did appear today at One Old Goat Farm.  I was very pleased to see that there were still a wealth of colors to enjoy after the week of gray.

A barn kitty hiding in the morning glories;

Not sure what these berries are but they are a brilliant purple and the stocks are fuscia;

one of our pumpkins that actually has been made into a jack o'lantern'

at last some wind to ring the chimes - I'm pretty sure that I won't be so happy for the winds after a few weeks of it;

Morning Glory grows like kudzu around here;

Leslie the Goat - she really smiles!

Sebastian watching the geese fly south (not really, he is looking north);

The chickens are happy to be able to stroll around without getting wet;

Chestnut the Rooster and his friend helping themselves to feed;

Skanky-kitty enjoying the sunshine;

The beautiful faces of the nasturtium.

Bull!

 I am a relatively laid back person.  It takes a lot - A LOT - to get me riled.  My family has only witnessed a handful of my truly outrageous meltdowns.  Probably the one that my older kids remember is the 'Great Chili Meltdown' that resulted in both kids not only 'enjoying' their chili but asking for more.  I was pregnant with my twin daughters at the time.

Today I headed home from work after a very productive day.  As usual, I was happy both with my workday and with the prospects of enjoying time with my kids.  At 5:13, I called home to find out that the bull, Lunchbox, had escaped.  Not only from the barn, but from the pasture.  This was not good.  My son and daughter were the only ones home.  And I had to pick up my other daughter from soccer at the other end of the valley. 

I arrived home and Lunchbox was still on the loose.  I grabbed a bucket filled with grain which any other day, he would turn cartwheels and rub my feet to have an extra bucket.  Not today.  Nothing doing.  He strutted across the neighbor's yard as if he owned the joint.  I repeated lured him over to his pasture and repeatedly he would get as far as the gate and then take off again.

I was hysterical.  How in the heck can I manhandle a 1000 pound bull?  A stubborn bull. A devil of a bull. 

How did I do it?  I called (in hysterics) my best buddy.  She couldn't understand me and she told me she would call her husband.  I calmed down a bit and explained the problem.  Within minutes, he called and said that he and his son were on their way down so that I was able to go and pick up my daughter.

I wasn't worried about Lunchbox doing more than eating the neighbor's peach trees because he is basically lazy and uninterested in anything other than eating.  But they are really good neighbors who put up with an awful lot from me and my animals and I don't want their trees ruined.

So, while I was gone, my best friend's son and husband came to the rescue.  With lassos.  And by the time I returned home from picking up my daughter, Lunchbox was safe and sound in the barn.  Well secured.  Because we are rednecks.

I do want to mention that during this whole ordeal, I did not swear.  Not even on the inside.  I prayed instead.  And let me tell you that prayer is way more productive.

But there is a definite reason why my farm is NOT One Old Cow Farm!!!!!

Trains.

When I was a vocational rehabilitation counselor, many of the people with whom I worked wanted - as their vocational goal- to have some kind of position on the railroad.  I never understood this.  Trains were so yesterday, such a long manner of travel, and certainly did not fit into today's world.

But now, I have traveled on a train across our country.  Now, I understand.

On a train, you ride through America's backyard.  Unless you are traveling through an old town that was built around train travel, you don't get to see the 'presentable face' that is shown to the road when you are driving down the highway.  You ride through fields and woods and prairies and mountains.  It is amazing.

And yes, it is a long trip.  But if the journey is the reason, then a train is the way to go for me.  Being lulled to sleep by the chug-a-chug of the tracks, the gentle rocking of the travel, and the not-so-gentle lurching as the train changes tracks is the closest thing to being rocked to sleep as an adult can get. 

So no more planes for me. Not being a huge fan of flying - despite having a father who was a pilot - I've found the perfect mode of transportation for me.  Already I am planning to take my children to San Francisco on the train next fall - what an awesome way to experience the country! 

Just another step on slowing down my life a bit.  If you haven't done it, try it.  Train travel is an excellent way to become intimate with the country and with your self.  And the food isn't bad, either!

I remember.

I remember 9/11/2001.  It was a week after our neighbor died in a tractor accident.  It was the day that I took my twin daughters for their first day of pre-school.  I remember sitting down at the computer and looking at the aol screen in disbelief wondering how in the heck two planes managed to hit the twin towers.  And then it became clear.

And nothing has been the same.

I remember standing in between my kids' (all five of them) beds and feeling such a finality of life.  It was as if I had given up on my hopes and dreams for the future.  I remember that my oldest son asked about going to church.  He had just started high school at the time and we hadn't been attending church for a while.  I remember feeling totally and utterly helpless.

I remember - and still hear - all the country songs that were spawned by the events of 9/11 and how so many artists protested because they felt these songs made American look like hicks.  I don't agree with that at all. 

I do feel that generalizing categories of people is harmful. But it is kind of like protecting my family:  I'm not taking any chances.  In an ideal world, we would all play nice and we would all get along.  I would be the very first to sign up for a world like that.  I think it is the kind of world that was meant to be.  But realistically, that is not the kind of world in which we live.  I will protect my family from anyone.  No matter their background, race, hairstyle, football team orientation.......I will protect my family from anyone.

9/11 (after time has passed and I've been able to reflect) has not been a benchmark as to when I decided to fear.  Rather it has benchmarked the time at which I've decide who/what/where is important to me.  I have decided not to worry about the little stuff and to try a little harder to fix the bigger things for which I have some control.

Although I always have, I've taken a more active role in matters regarding my country, my state, my county, and my school district.  I appreciate a little - actually a LOT more - the little things in life. 

I think that anything less would be a great disservice to those who have given so much.

And they're off.

The first day of school: first day of high school for my daughters and first day of junior high school for my son.  The summer flew by and that our family calendar that hangs on the door had fallen open to the month of June with the last day of school marked in big letters simply confirms that fact. 

The kids were excited to see old friends, to show off new clothes, to experience new classes even though Jordan and Ikey had actually started the school year in August with band and soccer.  And despite the fact that Haley really had her heart set on going to a prep school this year, she seemed to be excited as well. 

How can it be that they are so eager for time to pass and I only wish that time would stand still?  They are racing to accomplish, to do, to go on and I would give anything just to be able to hold back and savor these minutes for a little while. 

So on their first day back to school, they will spend the day nervously looking for classrooms and catching up with their old friends.  And on their first day at school, I will stay home, can tomatoes, remember my babies, shed a few tears, and think about all for which I have to be thankful.

Happy School Day. Take your time, kids.  Enjoy.

Small town.

We won.  It has been a great week in our small town.  From 8 days of Grange Fair to tonight's win over a rivaled football team, it has been all good in Penns Valley.

A week of enjoying all sorts of fair fare - the footlong chili cheese dog and pulled pork sandwich and chocolate-dipped cheesecake will keep us til next year's fair. 

The kids' first real parade - heavy band uniforms on a sunny day are tradition. Lots of red faces and sweet tea after marching through the campground.

PV's newest percussionist - trying to build up his muscles so that he is able to carry the cymbals (and eventually the bass drum) with ease.

Sprucetown's ark complete with Pastor Jeff as Noah