Friday, November 7, 2008

I need to run . . . .

I feel like I've been run over by a train! Just tired: my activity level has changed so much over the past year. After running the Marine Corp Marathon in October and not being respectful of my body's need for recovery, I wasn't really able to run for a few months. I've just not gotten back in the groove. I know if I just get out there, just put on my shoes and get out the door, I'll run. Running makes me feel so good. I think that is one of the most tragic things about human nature: we avoid - fervently- the very things that make us happy.
I love, love, love to run! It makes me feel good, it makes my systems work the way they should. When I run, I just naturally eat right. I am pleasant. Last Christmas my oldest son Ryan gave me a necklace with a runner on it. I do not take it off. It is a constant reminder of what I love. What I love about running is that it is such a clean sport. It is my body doing what it is made to do. I don't hurt the earth, I take nothing from it. It gives me time to think and to enjoy nature. I am foolish for not running now when I can. While my body is strong and healthy.
There is a strong line of type 2 diabetes in my family. Running helps me avoid that. Running keeps me out of the category of invisible middle-aged women. There's nothing wrong with that - I rather enjoy being non-descript and unidentifiable. But running makes me part of another group which is ageless and cultureless. Running gives an introvert like me the opportunity to be part of a larger group in a safe way. I can choose to carry on a conversation with a running mate or I can choose to run alone.
Running makes me special. How self-indulgent is that? I kind of like it. There are really quite many women my age who are runners but in casual conversation, I seem like an anomaly. Maybe I'm an inspiration to other middle-aged women, that they can do this too! Maybe some of the younger women look at me and see that you don't have to rock away your twilight years.
My daughter is a runner. I'm so very, very proud of her. She runs semi-regularly even being a single mother of a nearly 2 year old son. She ran her first half-marathon last March and called me crying with pride. With running no matter how crappy your day is, if you run - it has been a success. And oh, what an esteem booster! Finishing a race, or finishing the runs that you've planned is like giving birth: no one can do it for you.
One of my greatest races was the 2007 Arts Festival race. All of my kids ran in the race and at the time, my oldest son Ryan was running on his own although he didn't participate in the race. It was so neat to run with my daughter and then watch my youngest daughters and son participate in the kids' race. I look forward to the day that my grandson can run, too!
So why is it that I haven't been running for over 3 weeks?! Excuses, laziness, I don't know. There for awhile I was snacking - quite heavily - at night and nothing takes my motivation away like eating before bed. I've decided to stop that - mainly because I don't like to feed my body nasty stuff when it is cold outside and because I don't like that I've not been doing the things I like to do, like running.
So tomorrow morning after I feed the goats, chickens, and llamas, I'll put on my running shoes and go for a run. My dogs won't be too happy - it's hunting season and I run through the woods. Sebastian looks too much like a deer to take him with me.
Tomorrow I'll run and Sunday I'll run. And hopefully I'll keep on running. Everyday until I can't do it anymore.

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