Back again.

It has been a while since I felt like writing. That is how depression affects some people - we pull back into ourselves away from everyone and everything. Socializing becomes exhausting. Trying to form words whether written or spoken can take more energy than running a marathon.  An introvert anyways, depression makes me want to fold up until I can't be seen.  This early spring has helped immensely.  There is nothing like a climb up a mountain with a really great kid and an energetic dog.    It seems that for a while anyway, the depression monster may be kept at bay.  Over the past few weeks, I felt its choking hold ebb slowly away.

I'm doing what I need to do. My daughter and I have been volunteering at a local animal rescue, I continue to run, and I make myself go out and be around other people.  It has helped.

So hopefully the words will come again.  Just like the sun and the happiness have returned.

Bright spots.

Proof that everyone has a friend.  On many mornings I've seen this black hen and bunny walk/hop across the backyard.  What an unlikely couple. 

Upside of sad.

 

Being sad isn't all bad.  At least when I feel sad, I know that I feel.  And if I feel sad, I know that happy is right around the corner.  It's mostly a seasonal thing.

I've been profoundly sad for the past couple of months - likely due to a number of things.  Not the least of all has been the death of a hero, the anniversary of the deaths of several of my favorite people, endings, painful beginnings, mud.

The dark dreary days of winter don't lighten my spirits either. The good thing about being sad is that I know that I'll be happy again. My sadness is legitimate just as my happiness will be.

But sadness beats the choking nothingness of depression.

Anytime.

Farm and mud and getting nothing done.

Another beautiful day! So......I went out to (first) clean out the kidding pen, then to hang up clothes (in the trees), and to work on the covering on the well.  What really happened is that I got the clothes hung, started to look at the pump only to find that the entire top had cracked and broken so.........I'll be lugging 5 gallon buckets until my husband either takes the pump in and replaces it (it was a new pump and shouldn't have cracked) or until I get the old pump that a friend had given me up and running.  Since I work from dark to dark, I won't get to it until Saturday.  I did make a fair amount of headway cleaning out the kidding pen but holy moly!!!!  the hay packs in like peat moss!  My back is aching and my shoulders are sore from getting it nearly all cleaned out.

I had every intention of working on a quilt but took a nap instead. So while I got some stuff done, there's still a good bit that I'll be making up next weekend.  I'm hoping by then some of the mud has either dried or frozen.  

No Complaints.

I finally got my water pump pumping, the triplets out in the little barn with the other goats, and enjoyed some beautiful sunsets.  I refuse to complain about the mud.

Killers are we.

Every time we condemn someone without knowing all of the facts, every time we make a snap judgment on someone without taking the time to understand them, every time we allow the media to bottlefeed us information - bogus or not - we have the potential to at the very least, hurt another human deeply and at the very most, kill them.

Unless you are a lifelong Penn State fan, you may not understand.  I grew up with this guy.  I can't say that I idolized him but I most certainly looked up to him.  I was lucky - as a very young girl, I developed a healthy respect for the Alabama Crimson Tide and their revered coach, 'Bear' Bryant.  In my 10 year old eyes, Bear and JoePa were the ultimate coaches, dads, pillars, leaders. 

My heart is sickened. Others whom were trusted to lead my alma mater sent Joe to his death without dignity, without any type of respect.  Joe deserved better.  We broke his heart. 

Two great coaches - this photo and the one above was taken from Facebook.

Friday night sewing

Craftyvegasmom Friday night sew in 

Since I have several quilting projects that are in various stages of doneness and since I haven't been working on anything much lately and because there are a couple new quilts I would like to start, I joined this Friday night sew in.  And actually accomplished quite a bit.  I can't post what I've done because it is part of a gift to keep someone I love very, very warm but when it is done and has been delivered, I will post a picture.