I am: not really sure, pretty old, pretty ugly, lots of things. I am not: mean, without empathy, lots of things.
So..........in my spirituality search, I've tried to see if I am pulled in any direction. If I have a purpose. I have come to the conclusion that I have none. Well, actually I did have a purpose - and that was to raise great kids. Which I did. Mission accomplished. But what else is there for me?
What is my purpose? What is my passion? The problem is, there are so many things that I like to do and I can't decide on one thing on which to focus my abilities - or lack thereof. I keep thinking that I will receive a sign. That something will be glaringly obvious. An aha moment that tells me, this is what I am meant to do.
So what do I like to do? I like to take naps. I like to sew and make quilts. I like to bake bread. I like to cuddle my little dog. I like to read cozy mysteries. I like to listen to birds. I like to think about riding my bike. I like to play the piano. I like to walk in the creek below my house. I really like to do many things.
So maybe that is my purpose. Maybe my place on earth - or at least in this little valley - is to show that it is just fine to be mediocre and to be good enough in many things. I think that many people feel like if they aren't the best in one area, if they aren't 'A+' humans, then they aren't worthy. But really? Since when isn't it perfectly alright to be a 'B' or even a 'C' human? And who is doing the grading anyhow?
So my message to myself is, be kind to others, don't be so damn sensitive, and embrace your exceptional mediocrity.