Saturday, May 16, 2015

I am. I am?

I am: not really sure, pretty old, pretty ugly, lots of things.  I am not: mean, without empathy, lots of things.


So..........in my spirituality search, I've tried to see if I am pulled in any direction.  If I have a purpose. I have come to the conclusion that I have none.  Well, actually I did have a purpose - and that was to raise great kids.  Which I did.  Mission accomplished.  But what else is there for me?

What is my purpose? What is my passion?  The problem is, there are so many things that I like to do and I can't decide on one thing on which to focus my abilities - or lack thereof.  I keep thinking that I will receive a sign. That something will be glaringly obvious. An aha moment that tells me, this is what I am meant to do.

So what do I like to do?  I like to take naps. I like to sew and make quilts. I like to bake bread.  I like to cuddle my little dog.  I like to read cozy mysteries.  I like to listen to birds.  I like to think about riding my bike.  I like to play the piano.  I like to walk in the creek below my house.  I really like to do many things.

So maybe that is my purpose.  Maybe my place on earth - or at least in this little valley - is to show that it is just fine to be mediocre and to be good enough in many things.  I think that many people feel like if they aren't the best in one area, if they aren't 'A+' humans, then they aren't worthy.  But really? Since when isn't it perfectly alright to be a 'B' or even a 'C' human?  And who is doing the grading anyhow?

So my message to myself is, be kind to others, don't be so damn sensitive, and embrace your exceptional mediocrity.

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