A favor to return

This time last year we had already had a month full of snow. Yesterday it was nearly 60. I am thankful for this. I have had an extra few weeks to work on Dolly Llama’s shelter, to pick up the trash blown around by the wind, to stack wood (or make the kids do it), to spend time outdoors doing nothing in particular.

After yesterday’s foul mood brought on by an unpleasant dream, it feels good to be back in high spirits again. I am determined to avoid the anxiety I normally feel this time of year. For years, I’ve agonized over Christmas. I love Christmas but absolutely, positively hate the materialism and greed that marks this holiday. I can’t stand the commercials and advertisements promoting more, more, and more crap that we don’t even need. Pretty selfish, I think, when there are so many people who can’t even afford the basics. I hate the pressure that I’ve placed on myself to buy the perfect gift – did I spend enough? are they nice enough? are they enough??? These gifts for loved ones who really don’t need any thing!

This year I have put some thought into giving – I still want to give but I want it to be in honor of the gifts that were given to the newborn babe in the manger, Jesus Christ. I want to give from my heart – not meaningless garbage that will be forgotten the next day, but I want to give something to enjoy and to savor.

Of course for my younger kids and my grandson, there will be a couple of toys and some fun stuff. The nice thing about being poor (a matter of perspective), is that the bar is set low. No one really expects much from me. But for my older two kids and my parents, I want to give them some memories. Kind of like the running necklace that my son gave me years ago that I wear every day. And when I don’t run, I feel as if I’ve failed him. Or the painting of the tree with the most striking autumn colors that my daughter made me and that I look at every day and think of what a great artist she has become. I want to do that for them.

I want to give something that while maybe it can’t be wrapped or put under a tree and maybe it won’t evoke a ‘Wow’ when given, it will make them feel loved and treasured days, months or even years from now. Something that no matter what, they will know that they have been loved.
What can it be? There is not a lot that I do well. I bake, I run, that’s about it. I’ll think of something. It is important that I do. This fall we’ve been given the gift of a little more autumn. I want to return the favor to those I love.