I love to take my long runs on Sundays right after church. This gives me time to ponder over the morning's sermon. As a kid, in our fire and brimstone Baptist church and later, in our very nice Methodist church, I remember next to nothing about the sermons. In our Baptist church, I was scared to death by our minister who, in the pulpit, seemed to do nothing but scream and point at me. In the Methodist church of my youth, the only part of the church I remembered was the beautiful stained glass window of Christ kneeling at a rock in the Garden of Eden. I remember watching all of the 40ish men dozing off - wondering if my dad would snore.
Things have changed these days. I listen to our pastor. And today's sermon was about being blessed (Matthew 5) and whether we've earned another day. That got me thinking. I believe that I am a decent human. I try to be nice. I try to be helpful. I volunteer for many, many good causes. But do I really deserve another day? I guess that depends on who you ask.
I'm guessing that my animals hope I wake for tomorrow since I feed them and all. The two dogs who are mine would most definitely miss me if I wasn't around tomorrow. But do I deserve tomorrow? I'm not so sure about that.
What have I done today? I showed up at church, I ran for an hour and a half, I made pepperoni bread, I talked to my daughter, I played the piano. Does this get me a free pass for another day? Hmmmmmm. What about what I didn't do today. . . .
I didn't swear at the dogs too much. I didn't intentionally hurt someone. I didn't lie, cheat, or steal. I didn't kill anyone or anything. I didn't yell at the kids. Yet.
I'm thinking that I don't like that question all that much: Do I deserve one more day. Because I'm not so sure that I do. There wasn't anything momentous that happened today. Someone else's life hasn't been changed because of something I've done. How do we/I earn our/my keep?
Maybe tomorrow I will have the opportunity to do one or more things that will qualify me for somemore time here on earth. Maybe the opporunities will present themselves that I can do so many good things that they can be put into a sort of 'good deed' bank to use on days like today where I am at the status quo.
I'm hoping that I do get at least one more tomorrow.