This past weekend was one of the best weekends I have ever had. My depression is gone and for the first time that I can remember, I truly had a weekend filled fully with happiness.
It's not that I haven't had good weekends before - its just that usually at some point the noise and commotion become too much for me and I just can't deal with it. Social anxiety walks hand-in-hand with depression and the combo can be catastrophic at times.
I visited with my parents this weekend and my daughter, grandson, brothers, sister-in-law, niece and nephew were there. I can honestly say that I have never laughed so hard or just really had a great, great time.
Now that I'm am putting this in words, it seems ridiculous to be so excited about having an anxiety-free weekend. But it was. And I did. The ugly, scary hole of depression may be gone forever and it may be waiting around the corner for me to step into it when I'm not paying attention. But one thing I can carry with me is the knowledge that things truly do get better and that by taking care of myself, I can feel good again. I do have some control over this and that alone, makes it more bearable. So life is good - very good - these days at One Old Goat farm.
2 comments:
It's hard to not read too much into depression-free periods, for me anyway, but I try to just enjoy such moments as they come.
I do too - fortunately a depression of the magnitude I experienced this past winter has only happened this once which made the recovery that much sweeter, I think. There has been sept-fecta of things contributing to it. Sometimes I don't deal with things so well.
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