Monday, November 18, 2013

Hugs.

 One of the things I struggle with most is not totally smothering my children.  It is extremely hard for me to stand back and have faith that they will be able to work through some of the horrible little things that life throws all of us.  It is hard not to hop on a train and travel across the country to be with my oldest son right now.

He says he's alright. He says he is fine.  But I don't believe him.  The counselor in me knows that like it or not, we have to deal with some pretty bad things in life.  I am a believer of talk.  Well....I don't really like to talk, I prefer to listen.  I believe that dumping nastiness into words removes the sting a bit.  I like to talk about what is bothering me. I don't like to talk to other people.  I prefer just to say the words aloud and let the bad stuff filter out into the universe so they can dissipate into nothingness.  Many times I talk to my goats when I go out in the morning or to Clover as I walk her up to hang with the goats for the day.  I make it a point to get the negativity out of me before I come back in the house and wake up my kids.  It has made me a better mom, daughter, and counselor.I realize (as impossible as it is for me to believe, that not everyone wants to talk about everything.  That sometimes, people just need to stew in their own juices . . . and that is how they deal with things.  But as a mom, it is hard. I just want to give my son a hug right now.  He may be old enough to live on his own, miles away from me, but he is still my baby. He will always be my baby.

1 comment:

Deborah Hamilton said...

I think maybe I should get a dog or a goat to talk to. Sounds like a good friend.