I haven't really felt much like writing lately. So I haven't. I haven't had anything to say. Today was kind of bittersweet . . . one of my 16 year old daughters got her learner's permit. I'm happy that she maturing and growing the way she should be but I can't be feel as if I've been ripped off.
Sure she's 16 years old - but I think those years were extraordinarily short. I think somehow that we were giving short years. Otherwise, how can it be explained that just yesterday she a newborn? How can I tell a 3 year old how to drive? We didn't have time to do all things I wanted to do with her, with all of my kids.
I can remember when the kids were young. I would wait impatiently for their afternoon nap so that I could have just a few minutes to myself. It felt like freedom when the babies were asleep and I had a block of time in which I could do anything at all. I would fantasize about the day on which I wouldn't have to hurl a car seat and then contort myself in the backseat to get them latched in safe and secure.
We told the kids and I told my two older kids the same thing......just stay small. But none of them listened to me. They are growing and growing. My oldest son lives hundreds of miles away from me, on his own. It is obvious he does not need my help to carry on day-to-day. My oldest daughter also lives very independently with her two kids - who, I might add, are the most beautiful children! My three kids who live at home are rapidly growing up and away, developing their own interests, finding small ways to separate themselves.
So it will just be me here. My and my dogs. And my chickens. The goats, too. And Clover my pony. It will soon only be One Old Goat and her little farm.