so here we are, 16 days before Christmas. I've not had an anxiety attack, haven't felt as if my heart was going to pound out of my chest, haven't felt like passing out......nothing like that. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with having not gone to the mall. I detest busy places. I loathe people-filled areas, not because I don't like the people, just that it is too much.
Too much emotion flying around, too much talking, too much just plain noise. I swore off Walmart years ago because in addition to all the talking noise, the narrow aisles and seasonal displays creating a labyrinth, all the millions of choices and the video screens assaulting my senses, I can't stand the thought of all the mom and pop type stores that have closed simply because price-wise, they couldn't compete. That's not to say I haven't gone to Walmart at all, I just don't go often and only as a last resort.
For my groceries, I have gone to the same supermarket for the past 20 years. . . a little local chain that through the years has offered a good variety of groceries and cashiers that actually seem to like people. So........they just finished a huge remodel. This comes a few years after the Taj Mahal of grocery stores was opened in a town about 15 miles away. It was complete with a gas station, cafe and bottle shop. And aisles and aisles of canned goods, produce and other stuff that you don't normally see in a grocery store and that I can't see ever really needing.
Anyway, now my little grocery store has grown into a store that resembles Walmart in many ways. There is music blaring from speakers to greet you as you leave your car and walk into the store. The first time, I couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from - I thought I was hearing voices. There are tv screens and things inside the store blaring advertisements for the store the entire time you are walking up and down the poorly designed aisles. There are self-check outs that never work, never dispense the right amount of change and if I stop on my way to work, are sure to guarantee a frustrating start of the day.