Happy!

In spite of cold weather, forecast of a snowstorm, and Monday, who could be sad looking at this face!

My grandbaby! He makes me laugh - big belly laughs! I swear, he's going to be a comedian!

Lots of things to be happy about today. The sun is shining, I spent a lot of time with my grandson, I have a good job, my family and animals are healthy. And . . . prizes!

One of my most favorite bloggers is having giveaways! http://www.southernplate.com/2009/01/southern-plate-loves-you-back-over-500-in-giveaways.html

Read about her giveaways for Hamilton Beach BrewStation Deluxe 12 Cup Coffee Maker (I sure could use this) AND a Hamilton Beach Deluxe Grind 15 Cup Hands Free Coffee Grinder.

Also, Wilton 38 Cupcake Dessert and More Stand!

Southern Beauty Magazine will be giving away a Beauty Gift Set Valued at over $100!

Pioneer Brand will be giving away a gift basket filled with ALL of their wonderfully delicious
cooking and baking products!

Country Bob’s will be giving away TWO Gift Packs filled with Country Bob’s All Purpose Sauce, BBQ Sauce, and Seasoning!

And I assure you that once you read this blog, you will be a follower!

Depression

I just feel like this . . . dark, dreary, quiet.

This isn't necessarily bad - only if I continue to feel this way. But sometimes it is comforting, when I'm feeling dreary and quiet.

Because years ago, I couldn't even feel dreary. I couldn't feel. At all.

I spent so long thinking that I had to be happy every single minute that I literally drove myself crazy.

I've learned to embrace all of my feelings, good and bad. I learn to appreciate what I feel right now. And not question what I think I should be feeling.

I grew up in a wonderful family but it was always pleasant to the outside. My mom was always courteous and pleasant to everyone.

I think that it very nearly drove her mad as well. It has taken me many years to figure out that I really don't care if people think I'm pleasant. I don't work that hard at it. But having said that, I would say that most people would think me pleasant. Because I am. And I only truly am pleasant because I'm fine with revealing my feelings of unhappiness, frustration, anger.

By dealing with my feelings in the moment, then my overall disposition shines through. And that is, that I'm geniunely pretty happy and satisfied with my life.

It's hell being socially retarded . . . .

I just never developed socially, I guess. Never learned how to make small talk, never learned to chit chat. One thing is for sure, in elementary school I never got in trouble for talking! I much preferred to spend time by myself reading or sewing. I spent alot of time daydreaming (still do).

How ironic that I'm a counselor. But I like that - I like that type of talk which is mostly listening. I'm good at it too. Possibly because each session has a purpose and not much is expected of me other than being there, which I am; and caring, which I do. I'm not expected to remember birthdays and I don't have to fret about should I call or shouldn't I and it doesn't matter that I didn't call. I'm simply here for them. And I like that.

How ironic that I'm a mother to 5 children. But I like that - we're connected and we don't have to explain ourselves over and over. I love being with my kids - I love to talk with them and I love our silences. I love the noisiness of our house but I really love when everyone is home but quiet. All but one of my children are just like me. One is way more like me that I would prefer. And that worries me.

Not so ironic that I'm drawn to animals. I'm kind of like them in many ways. Well, sort of......I don't speak much! I like to eat. I like to sleep. But communication with my animals isn't done in words, it is through kind acts: making sure they are comfortable, well fed, loved, petted.

It's perfect love.

Kids and Dogs

are my favorites combinations!

My grandson just loves dogs. Much to their dismay sometimes. He just loves them sooooo much!

He loves to hug them, to ride them, to feed them. My dogs don't all feel the same way about him.

They hear him coming and Bear clears out. Sebastian jumps on the sofa with his head turned toward the back of the couch. Max goes in the bedroom. And poor Tipper hasn't figured out the path of destruction that is 'little boy'.

He'll learn.

Welcome Snowball!

Friday night my husband and my daughter went to the horse auction. I've never been able to bring myself to go - visions of horses who are no longer wanted/needed trodding around a ring, hoping for someone to buy them.... I couldn't bear it.

But my husband is convinced that he has an 'eye' for good riding horses. Hmmmpf. I know he used to ride horses long ago but don't know that he is all that knowledgeable about them. Anyway, my daughter spotted this snow white horse, skinny, a tattoo on his nose, immediately. And the rest is history. Snowball was delivered that night.

I wish I had had my camera with me as I was waiting for them. The trailer pulled into the church parking lot across the road from our place. They were leading Snowball down the road with his beautiful mane and tail blowing in the wind. It was magical!

The first night we put him in the shed/barn with very limited room to roam. It was apparent that he hated it. That afternoon, my husband put him in the pasture with Dolly the llama. And Snowball loved it. He is so gentle to ride, to brush, to pet. I wish I knew his whole history. The people who brought him sell auction horses as a living. They said they took him from someone who had owned him for 10 years. I think that person must have loved Snowball because he is so sweet and gentle.

Dolly the llama is happy for the company, I think. They seem to be fine together - they let each other eat and drink. The dogs, after the first few sniffs, seem to be perfectly content to share their home with this huge creature.

My job now is to read about horse nutrition and figure out how to plump him up a bit healthily. There is just something about a horse.