49 years.

Today is my birthday.  Happy Birthday to me!  I am so incredibly lucky to have lived this long despite my relative ignorance about most things.  I was gifted with many things - but common sense is not one of them. 

This is what I've had to learn along the way:

That the really best things in my life truly have not been things. They have been the experiences with the people who are in my life. I’ve learned that no matter how old I get, I still need (and want!) my mom and dad. I’ve learned that you never really outgrow sibling rivalry. I’ve learned that you may have to risk being labeled as crazy, odd, and eccentric to be able to fully live out your dreams. And I’ve learned not to care if others think of me as crazy, odd, and eccentric. I’ve learned that suppressing your dreams can have dire consequences.

I've learned that all families are dysfunctional - and the degree of dysfunctionality of each family is relative to that family's perception of the neighbors.  But no one is normal.

 I’ve learned that time spent with my kids, family and animals is way more important (and enjoyable) than cleaning my house and that no one will die from a messy house. There have been longitudinal studies done (by me) on this topic, and it has been proven to be true.

I’ve learned that you can love your career and give 110% of yourself at work without sacrificing your family.

I’ve learned that my life does not fit into 15 minute increments and that clocks are the work of the devil.

I’ve learned that no matter how grown up I’ve gotten, I still want my big brother to think I’m cool and that no matter how big he gets, I will always look out for my little brother.

I’ve realized that all I’ve ever really needed other than my family, has been faith. And after years and years of searching, I have come to realize that God has been with me all along. Since I was very young, I’ve been looking for the answers to two questions: what is that spirit I’ve always felt with me and who, exactly, is the Holy Ghost as in the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. At bible study, my pastor answered that question and I nearly fell off my chair. It was such a simple question with such a simple answer.


Which brings me to my next realization that if I want to know something, I should just ask. How bizarre that I could have saved myself so much anguish, so much time researching, if I had only swallowed my pride and just asked.

I've learned that success is not measured in money, that babies grow up quicker than you can blink your eye, that good dogs don't last forever.  I've learned the importance of letting people know I love them and to tell that cashier, server, anyone, when a job is well done.  Or when you appreciate the good service, the eye contact, or the smile.  And then return the smile.

I’ve learned that I really, really want another 49 years to re-do everything that I have screwed up, forgotten, ignored over the past 49 years.

I'll try harder to get it right this time.