Not sure what is happening to me. Certainly it can't be (can it?) my experience with the human race last year that went awry. Yesterday my cousin died. Of acute alcoholism. I wasn't close to him but I was really close with his family. He was an older cousin - a cousin of myths-- a renegade who never grew up. He's dead now. Assuming he lead his life recklessly but possibly he drank himself to death quite alone. With only his sister keeping him company his final week. He is the first of my family to die young. My family--both sides--are known for their long lives. Same for my husband so I'm expecting that my kids will live to see 200!
This is an odd feeling. Not so much like my aunt (my loveliest, sweetest, aunt) who died of cancer no doubt caused by years of smoking. But Phil, my cousin, was only in his early 50s. I didn't know him. But I knew his family.
And I'm sorry.