Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Tears, trails, and Thanksgiving

Last weekend was an awesome weekend.  When my youngest has graduated college, I say goodbye to the work world and hit the trail.  This past weekend I spent at a beautiful lodge along the Appalachian trail learning about the necessities of long distance hiking.  Words cannot express how much I'm looking forward to hiking each and every one of those 2164 miles.  
Sunset from the Blue Ridge mountains
The lodge I stayed in over the weekend.
I needed this past weekend.  I needed it for me.  I need to realize that there will be a life for me once my kids are grown - something with which I am not dealing well.  Many, many times I've wondered who I will be once I'm not longer needed in my role as 'mom'.  So in the spirit of my dad, I'll hit the trail. He was more of a tree person than a people person. Despite being a counselor, that is true of me too.  Actually, I'm not sure if I prefer the company of trees more or if it is just the simplicity of nature.   Not that this is a new idea - I've been planning this epic hike for nearly 10 years. I'll be hiking for a week in the spring, kind of trying out gear, getting used to myself.  I may change my mind however on the hike I hike.  The AT may not be the one for me.....there are some lesser known trails in this country that may be more appealing to me when the time is closer. 
Morning view

The trail
 I've finally shed a few tears. I realized the other day that this will be my first Thanksgiving without my son and without my dad.  Actually my dad might be a little closer than my son who now lives in Colorado.  No hope of him coming home for the holidays.  I'm trying to find a second job to earn a few bucks so that I can go visit him.

I think it is ironic how many tears one's body can hold.  I let out a few - but when the tears come.....watch out.  In the meantime, I intend to thoroughly enjoy Thanksgiving day - I'll remember my family who are not longer with me, I'll talk to my son who is miles and miles away, and I'll be thankful for all of my family and friends who are still here.





1 comment:

Cathy said...

Being an empty nester can be challenging. I was always a hiker and when my son moved away I hiked more. The quiet of the desert and the morning beauty of the cliffs and mountains sort of touched my soul. It helped. I missed my child, worried about him but it all turned out well. Now you get to see your children really bloom. Your going to grow as well. My mother in law said it best, "no matter how old your children are they are always your babies". It seems to me your are on the right path. It`s amazing how your own life will open up.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.