What's next?

I'm happy where I am. I'm bored sometimes. But I'm content because I know what to expect. I know that I do what I'm supposed to do. There are no surprises, no challenges. There's no fear (almost none) that I'm going to mess up. I'm treated well. I treat others well.

So why do I want to apply for a new job--a promotion in the same department in which I work? Part of me--the slacker part--is scared.to.death. that I'll screw up and be fired. That slacker is thinking that what I'm doing right now is no stress. Sure, I'm bored to tears some days. I'm never surprised, really. But the part of me who wants more, says go for it. The part of me who believes in me has already applied for the job and is hoping to get it. That part of me really wants to show what I can do and will get great satisfaction of doing something good.

I'm terrified that I won't get called for an interview, that I won't get the job. And I'm terrified that I will.

My kids are older now and it is not so critical that they have my attention 24/7. They've developed their own friends and have become close to their dad. Quite honestly, I feel unneeded at home.